*Ring*

Answering Machine: Hello friend, comrade, counterpart or villainous fiend. You have reached the answering machine of Kelvin. I am currently not available to take your call, queries, or threats at this time. Please rest assured, I will be back with you shortly, in this intervening time where I am away, I will be compiling a larger, more substantial paragraph for you to read of my exploits with Macie, Chevron, the Ambassador and this mysterious [INSERT NAME HERE]; where we will uncover the secrets of the [INSERT PLOT POINT HERE]. In the mean time, there will be frequent updates on other, more pressing subjects such as the definition of a Dweller or why pepper is so peppery. Stay tuned. Please leave a message after the beep.

*Beep*